TED英语演讲：在死亡面前生活如何有意义

TED英语演讲在死亡面前，生活如何有意义 演说者Lucy Kalanithi A few days after my husband Paul was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer,we were lying in our bed at home, and Paul said, Its going to be OK. And I remember answering back,Yes. We just dont know what OK means yet. 就在我的丈夫Paul被确诊为肺癌晚期的几天后，我们躺在卧室里，Paul说， 一切都会变好的。我记得我回答说，是的。我们只是还不知道变好的意思。 Paul and I had met as f irst-year medical students at Yale. He was smart and kind and super funny. He used to keep a gorilla suitin the trunk of his car,and hed say, Its for emergencies only. 我跟Paul是在耶鲁医学院读第一年时认识的。他聪明、友善、超级有幽默感。 他常年在车里的后备箱放着一件大猩猩服，他说，“以备不时之需。” I fell in love with Paul as I watched the care he took with his patients. He stayed late talking with them,seeking to understand the experience of illnessand not just its technicalities. He later told me he fell in love with mewhen he saw me cry over an EKG of a heart that had ceased beating. We didnt know it yet,but even in the heady days of young love,we were learning how to approach suffering together. 我在目睹了他细心照顾他的患者之后便爱上了他。他跟患者可以聊到很晚， 希望能够理解疾病带来的感触，而不仅仅是技术层面的细节。他后来告诉我，从 他看到我面对着一份停止跳动的心电图哭泣那刻就爱上我了。我们那时不知道， 早在我们尚未坠入爱河之前，我们就已经在学习如何共同承担痛苦。 We got married and became doctors. I was working as an internistand Paul was finishing his training as a neurosurgeonwhen he started to lose weight. He developed excruciating back painand a cough that wouldnt go away. And when he was admitted to the hospital, a CT scan revealed tumors in Pauls lungs and in his bones. We had both cared for patients with devastating diagnoses；now it was our turn. 我们结婚了，毕业后都当了医生。我选择了当内科医生，Paul当时即将结束 神经外科的训练课程，但他的体重也开始往下掉。他的后背逐渐开始疼痛，咳嗽 总是不见好。当他被收治住院时，CT显示肿瘤已经遍布他的肺和骨头。我们都细 心照顾过各种身患重大疾患的病人，现在轮到我们了。 We lived with Pauls illness for 22 months. He wrote a memoir about facing mortality. I gave birth to our daughter Cady,and we loved her and each other. We learned directly how to struggle through really tough medical decisions. The day we took Paul into the hospital for the last timewas the most difficult day of my life. 我们跟Paul的癌症抗争了**乂个月。他写了 一本回忆录，记录面对死亡的感 受。我们的女儿Cady顺利出生。我们爱她，爱彼此。我们学会了如何面对各种艰 难的医学选择。Paul最后一次收治住院那天，对于我而言是最艰难的一天。 When he turned to me at the endand said, Im ready, I knew that wasnt just a brave decision. It was the right one. Paul didnt want a ventilator and CPR. 1st important thing to Paulwas to hold our baby daughter. Nine hours later,Paul died. 当他在最后的时刻，看着我，说，我准备好了。我明白，那不仅是勇敢 的选择，也是正确的选择。Paul并不想要呼吸机和心肺复苏，在那一刻，对于 Paul而言最重要的事情是抱着我们襁褓中的女儿。九个小时之后，Paul走了。 Ive always thought of myself as a caregiver 一most physicians do and taking care of Paul deepened what that meant. Watching him reshape his identity during his illness, learning to witness and accept his pain, talking together through his choices 一those experiences taught methat resilience does not mean bouncing back to where you were before,or pretending that the hard stuff isnt hard. It is so hard. Its painful, messy stuff. But its the stuff. And I learned that when we approach it together,we get to decide what success looks l